Steven Gerrard

The Friday Burrito: More Of The Same

The Friday Burrito

Deadline day’s finally over, not that many would have noticed it was there in the first place. Not many would have noticed that Chubby Alonso missed out on his weekly Kicking The Blues column either – this time the blues had well and truly kicked him instead. He’s recovered well though and has stuffed up quite a sizeable wrap. We’ll cut to the chase:


1. It’s A Rich Man’s World

The January transfer window finally came to a whimpering close on Monday with little promised and little delivered. Deals done have been cold and responsible, shy of the ridiculous sums of money that spoilt fans are used to seeing. Indeed, with the influx of foreign owners and the inflation of transfer fees, the January window has quickly grown to crystallise these ABBA lyrics: Money, money, money / Must be funny / In a rich man’s world. While the window remains one of choice for the big boys it has habitually become one of fear for the smaller sides – Burnley and West Brom surely amongst those who could not be more relieved to see the window pass without the sale of their star strikers.

Even with the Financial Fair Play rules, the bigger clubs still enjoy greater asset mobility and are hence better equipped to both gain and lose players. One needs to look no further than the contrasting fortunes of Chelsea and Swansea to see how clubs of disparate financial status find themselves on different sides of the shopping window. When the transfer windows were first introduced by UEFA in 2002-2003, the overarching intent was for squad stability and player preservation, but the way January conducts its business suggests that football has lost sight of that vision. It could be time the game adapted to recognise how much of a business it has become and made an executive change for the better. Could Barcelona – already looking better and brighter this year without any transfer tumults – fortuitously pave the way for the future of transfer windows? Perhaps a transfer quota (once mooted by Arsene Wenger) or even a loan-only window could be in order: Podolski, Salah and Shaqiri are amongst some big names who are benefiting from being released on loan in January and I believe that this could be the most modern, equitable, and enjoyable solution.

2. Same Same But Different

After an extended winter wander, the Bundesliga has well and truly found its way back into our hearts again. If a league table was drawn up from the start of the Rückrunde, both Bayern and Dortmund would be tied on one point after two games, with Bayern slipping into the relegation zone by virtue of a sorry goal difference. Yet such a table tells a lie: Bayern paid a sore price for their tactical mis-step at Wolfsburg, but were terribly unlucky to draw with Schalke, having put in another dominant performance despite playing a whole hour with just ten men. Yes, they were lucky to escape a triple-punishment after an uncharacteristically meek penalty from Eric Maxim Chupo-Moting, but they played with the mastery and confidence of a team eight points in the clear and gave every reason for Pep to be pleased (“I’m not happy, I’m very, very, very happy”).

On the other hand, Dortmund are beginning to look the part of basement dwellers. The team remain too good to go down, but a team that good should have more ambition than that – or at least a whole lot more pride. A ferocious side once feared for their relentless attack have failed to score this new year and were tremendously underwhelming against 10-man Augsburg, an energetic team slowly winning admirers in the same fashion that Dortmund did four years ago. As teams begin to grow accustomed to Dortmund’s stubborn and increasingly weary gegenpressing, Klopp’s approach is starting to look dated and limited. The team look out of ideas, and Mats Hummels and Roman Weidenfeller must surely be out of words.

3. Dream On

Wonderful strikes by Liverpool’s two diminutive forwards on Wednesday mean the Merseysiders are two games from a Wembley semi-final and three games from Steven Gerrard’s Wembley Birthday Bash. Believe it or not, Mr Cup Final’s 35th birthday fittingly falls on the 30th of May, and considering how fashionably late Liverpool left it against Bolton, the stars surely appear to be lining up. Yet such stars already regularly turn out for Manchester United, who are the highest placed team left in the tournament and are officially the favourites for the FA Cup. Against Cambridge United on Tuesday, Louis Van Gaal once again showed refreshing respect for the tournament, fielding a first XI that begrudged even Victor Valdes an appearance. United may have flattered to deceive once again but remain notoriously difficult to beat, priming them specifically for cup success. By their own manager’s own admission, United are in it to win it and by all accounts should: “I am not allowed to bet. But I give you a tip. We have a real chance now”. Gerrard’s Cup Final Birthday may turn out to be a dream, but until then, let no one tell him that.

4. An Ending Fitting For A Start

Deadline day may not be deadline day without Harry Redknapp, but QPR will still be QPR without their resident wheeler-dealer. A reign that began with a bit of fanfare has ended with not a morsel of remorse: it is not an uncommon sight to see ‘Arry leaving a Premier League club, nor is it an uncommon sentiment to say that he will not be missed.

QPR’s form this season has made this decision a matter of when, not if: they boast the unflattering record of failing to register a single point on all their travels so far this season, and in their past 40 away games in the Premier League (harking back to Harry’s first tenure) they have managed just the two wins. But for Charlie Austin’s outstanding goalscoring contributions (54% of QPR’s goals this season), the axe might have fallen earlier; instead he is allowed the dignity of walking away under the guise of a ‘knee surgery’.

It is not the first time Harry has been shown the door, even if it has never been a straightforward sacking. His career has not been characterised by endurance nor excellence, and his pinnacle of achievement was probably an overhyped candidacy for the England job that was subsequently handed to Roy Hodgson. Even at his multiple alma mater he has been known to float on rather than flourish, to buy rather than to breed. His style and busy-ness has created a facade that he is a lot bigger and better than he really is – a pufferfish if you will – and it takes only a few punches and punctures to leave his soft underbelly exposed and deflated.

His best finish as a manager in the Premier League was with a Spurs side free-rolling with a budding Gareth Bale, but what his fans like to forget is how close he came to letting Bale go, and how persistent he was at confining the Welsh winger to the left back role. His questionable eye for talent has finally backfired at QPR: Rio Ferdinand failed to be the force he thought he was, and Harry failed to be the man he made himself out to be.

The writing was all over the wall for Deadline Day incumbent Harry Redknapp. As February the First passed by at QPR with one fateful tweet and no frisky treats, so would ‘Arry’s time at the club on February the Second.

5. Equatorial Guinea: Finally On The Map

Last night, Equatorial Guinea were faced with a golden chance to set the continent alight, but instead ambled off the pitch under some pretty dark clouds. Just two months ago they had emerged as a sort of hero after Morocco pulled out of hosting the Cup of Nations at the height of Ebola fears, offering to do so despite the short notice. Probably the weakest nation in the competition, they had made it to the semi-finals, already surpassing all expectations and making history for the young footballing nation. 90 minutes stood between them and greater glory, but 45 was all it took for the wheels to start coming off.

2-0 down at half-time, the Equatorial Guinea fans had already begun pelting objects at the Ghanian players, who left for the dressing room under a Spartan-esque formation of riot police shields. On the pitch their players put on a disgraceful show of gamesmanship – soft falls, terrible tackles, the whole lot – almost in recognition of their inferiority, almost with such disregard to the home support. When Jordan Ayew slotted home Ghana’s third goal things got ugly: anything that could be thrown was sent flying at Ghanian players and fans alike; a helicopter emerged, hovering low and causing more chaos and confusion than any semblance of calm; the faction of Ghanian fans that left the stadium early found themselves in the hands of an expectant mob, fists full of fury. As the violence simmered down, all that remained was an odd sense of fear: first for safety, then from the growing realisation of a legacy ruined for the competition, the country, and the continent.

The Friday Burrito: Last Chance Saloon

The Friday Burrito

Chubby Alonso is a sentimental man, so he gets rather introspective when he senses that things might start to end. This Friday’s Burrito spots some stuff from this week that suggests that certain players, clubs and even countries are either edging towards their last leg, or are on the cusp of new beginnings. Who knows? Chubby does, or so he says.

Here’s some of the picks of the week, thoughtfully chosen to go into today’s wrap:

1. Man On A Mission

Steven Gerrard is officially running out of time to take Lucas Leiva back to Wembley. After Liverpool’s difficult loss to Chelsea in the Capital One Cup semi-final, the sobering realisation for Gerrard and for many football fans around will slowly kick in that he has just one last shot left at Wembley glory. It is difficult to put into words what Cup Finals mean to Steven Gerrard and, rather synonymously, what Gerrard means to Cup Finals. As one of the Premier League’s greatest he has suffered the subtle ignominy of living for the Cup while the other Greats fight it out over the Big League Trophy, and his little squaring up to Dirty Diego late into the game was a picture of both resignation and regret. Gerrard’s radio silence after the match was at loud as it gets and he will be saving his breath for the FA Cup replay at Bolton next week – beat them and only Crystal Palace stand in his way to a Wembley return. Of course, last weekend’s cupsets mean that the magic of the FA Cup is very much alive, but in Stevie G, Liverpool might have their very own Wizard of Wembley.

2. Hulk Smash

History may be written by the victors, but it is the defeated who will remember most. What Liverpool and Atletico Madrid fans will remember in the wake of their mid-week Cup exits is how their team’s efforts were ruined by some reserved (Liverpool) and reckless (Atletico) refereeing. Liverpool fans will point to what the referee missed – most glaringly the two Costa stamps that left him eight away from a free coffee and three games in the stands. The Atletico faithful will be furious by what their referee didn’t, effectively end the game by sending off captain Gabi at half-time, allegedly for saying “Jesús, it was a penalty and a red card” – ‘Jesús’ of course, being the name of their sinner, rather than the Saviour.

While the vitriol aimed at the referees are not unfounded, perhaps they are misplaced, and conceal some of the deeper problems in football. It is little coincidence that two of the managers involved in the games are two of the most controversial – Jose Mourinho for his megalomaniacal image of his players and his ways, and Diego Simeone for his infectious, fiery rage. There comes a point when the means will stop justifying the ends. Mourinho may have got off relatively scot-free this time – Dirty Diego’s bit of justice aside – but the same can’t be said for the other Diego. Simeone’s passion has rubbed off on his players to great success – Torres being the latest beneficiary, with all three of his goals for Atletico coming within a minute post-KO, post-Simeone – but it was this same influence that saw a red mist descend upon a bullish Mario Suarez and a petulant Arda Turan, who could have so easily seen red too for his manic moment of boot-tossing madness. If Simeone doesn’t find a way to keep his team’s inner-Hulk under control, Atletico – and football – may soon be counting the cost.

3. Luck of the Draw

The performance of African nations have always appeared to be rather patchy-per-tournament, an impression that has always made the African Cup of Nations almost quite predictable in its unpredictability, and to me, a little more than a distraction from the big lights of the European leagues. This week saw the AFCON get its group stages out of the way, finally with a bit of fanfare. With both Mali and Guinea ‘sharing’ second place in the group having having drawn all three of their games 1-1 (ie. P3 D3 F3 A3), the last qualifying spot went down to a drawing of lots – the third time in AFCON history. Yesterday, on the fourth floor of a haughty Hilton hotel, a representative of each team dipped their hands into a bowl – fresh from the kitchen – and picked out their respective fates. Joy for Guinea, jealously from Mali, and plenty of resentment towards the Confederation. With a bit of foresight, the CAF could have taken a leaf from UEFA’s book: a similar situation played out between Turkey and the Czech Republic in Euro 2008 would have demanded a penalty shoot-out – probably the more sporting solution, even if hoping for the luck of the draw is in fact the most technically fair one.

4. The Boys Are Back

The Bundesliga comes back tonight when Bayern takes on Wolfsburg, still a top of the table clash even if a whole 11 points separate the sides. The weekly headlines in the first half of the season had gone predictably along the lines of a Bayern steamroller to victory, a Dortmund slump to defeat, or surprisingly often, a mix of both. As the second half kicks off it will still be intriguing to see if Wolfsburg can properly lay a claim to top spot in the league outside Bayern’s, or if Augsburg’s impressively inspirational streak can continue through the season; but there will be no storyline quite as gripping as the rise of a fallen European darling. The lengthy German winter break could have done no team more favours than Borussia Dortmund and there is no reason why they won’t come back fresh to the fight, especially with Marco Reus back to lead the charge, and especially with the January window doing little to immediately suggest a change in fortunes for most of the teams. Most, of course, with the exception of VfL Wolfsburg, whose signing of Xizhe Zhang from Beijang Guoan forecasts a sure-fire windfall in the Asian market, and foreshadows an intriguing subplot to keep all Eastern aficionados interested: as Shinji’s star slowly falls, how quickly can Zhang’s spring?

5. Parting Gift

On the eve of what might turn out to be Australian football’s biggest day, big word on the big street is that Asia want Australia out. AFC President Shiekh Salman today confirmed the growing sentiment amongst the Arab nations disgruntled by what they perceive as Australia’s parasitic participation, rather accurately echoing some of the xenophobic concerns simmering around the real world. Australia’s entry into the AFC nine years ago was welcomed under the pretext of increasing the image and standards of Asian football and little has pointed to the contrary. If anything, the A-league’s increasing prominence, as well as the continued presence of Australians plying their trade in the big European leagues, should suggest that the AFC would be worse without the Australians.

At the heart of this gripe appears to be a massive FOMO, or for those above 16 – a Fear Of Missing Out. With Japan and South Korea as fixtures for World Cup qualification, the host of West Asian nations – Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, UAE, Uzbekistsan et al. – have to fight it out with Australia and China’s irrepressible emergence for the last two spots. Not that this is a sure-win for Australia – the land Down Under are ranked just 10th in the AFC, 100th in FIFA, and have failed to bag the Asian Cup in their three attempts thus far. An Australian win tomorrow may toss more salt into wounds but the last thing the AFC should do is run.

The case for Australia’s participation 9 years ago remains the same today, and perhaps ever more relevant than before; more competition is good competition, and one swallow does not a summer make. The Gulf nations are on the cusp of something great and must do better than to count World Cup appearances as a measure of success: Iran and Saudi Arabia’s meek performance over the past few decades have done little to raise the roof, and if Qatar want to be anything more than a filler host nation in 2022, the unhappy mob from the Middle East will have to stop pointing that finger outwards and start paying attention to the three staring back at them.