Kicking The Blues: Upset People Upset People

Kicking The Blues

When you’re having a bad day, sometimes all you want is someone to listen. But we’ve all got that annoying friend who will instead try to ‘compete’ your blues away by explaining how your misery pales in comparison to the terrible day he’s having. You’re tired and you’re a nice person, so you listen anyway. Here’s Chubby Alonso, taking up that mantle of your annoying friend to recount a weekend of upset people and upset teams. Be nice, listen, and feel better:

It’s in the little things: Some stuff you might or might not have missed about the FA Cupsets

It was not till Sunday that the magic of the FA cup took its first victims. The first upset came at Ashton Gate, where League One leaders Bristol City were taken down a by late goal from West Ham’s Sakho. Brighton were the next victims of the cup curse, falling to Tomas Rosicky’s inspirational imitation of Cazorla’s masterclass at Manchester City, complete with this magnificent goal, including a no-look one-two in its build-up.

Otherwise it all went according to script till, with all of the top three Premier League teams succumbing to the hunger of Lower League predators. Manchester United, fourth in the Premier League and second in the Deloitte Football Money League, escaped the clutches of Cambridge United and earned themselves a lucrative replay.

1. Home is where the heart is

Luke Chadwick will always be known for two things: for being one of the least aesthetically pleasing players of his time, and being on the books of Manchester United – even winning a championship medal with them 14 years ago. On Friday evening he came on for what many people considered as a sort of homecoming for him, but the truth was that even while at United, he was always more at home in Cambridge. Prior to the FA Cup fixture, The Guardian’s Stuart James met Chadwick and bled out a lovely tale of football, fame and family. Among my favourite anecdotes are the stories of how his wife would buy him a Cambridge United kit every Christmas, how he has a mural of the club crest plastered on a wall at home, and his child-like admiration for the Class of ’92.

2. Pardew has Palace Purring

Alan Pardew has only been at the Palace helm for four games but he’s already reaped four wins and twelve goals for some very happy fans. The players themselves seem to be enjoying their football, least of all a flying Wilf Zaha. Yet it was the returning Maurone Chamakh, playing in a strange No.10 role against third place Southampton, who really impressed Pardew. His post-match comment was particularly interesting: “The guys said to me ‘you’re going to get a lift in the team when you see him play’”, revealing just how highly regarded he is by his teammates, which some will say is the highest honour. Equally interesting was the fact that Palace’s front four consisted of players who were once (or still are) on the books of either Arsenal and Manchester United, perhaps a hat-tip to how raw talent sometimes need a stage to shine. Either way, two of them shone brightly, and combined with devastating effect for Palace’s beautifully worked winning goal.

3. Manchester City turn up late for their date

Title-contenders Manchester City may have spent the better part of last week under the sun in Abu Dhabi, but they will really be feeling the heat now. A win on Saturday would have shoved the spotlights out the door but they didn’t, so the club’s decision not only to take a midweek middle eastern break and return only 19 hours before the fixture has come under scrutiny as one that is both abhorrent and arrogant: abhorrent for the way the suits in the hierarchy have been allowed to call the shots at the football club, and arrogant because their approach would surely have been different if it was in fact Chelsea they were due to face. As a result, City were ill-prepared and failed to turn up against a side that has played five more league games than Chelsea this season but has conceded one less goal. Instead it was Mourinho’s old right-hand man Aitor Karanka who orchestrated a performance worthy of the master; and it was Lee Tomlin who turned more heads than Sergio Aguero, who has now gone over 210 minutes without a goal.

4. Bradford United

Phil Parkinson was a picture of professionalism when approached by Mourinho for one of his derisory pre-mature handshakes, keeping his cold hands snug in his pockets. Similarly, when Jose hollered down the tunnel at Filipe Morais before the game, Morais refused to be rattled, even if it was likely more of a gesture than a sick mind-game. Still, these battle-ready facades worn by manager and player alike were symbolic of Bradford City’s united front on display at Stamford Bridge. This game may have meant particularly much to Morais, who played in Mourinho’s first ever Chelsea game in charge in 2004 (a friendly against Oxford) and has publicly regretted subsequently turning down a contract extension at the club, yet he barely made it about him. At 29, the goalscorer of Bradford’s equaliser has come a long way and is a surprising example for today’s sentimental professionals: “I always thought I wouldn’t celebrate if I scored…but when you score you are just overcome with emotion…I didn’t want to give the Bradford fans the injustice of not celebrating – they deserve it. This is the club I play for and I’m absolutely honoured to do so.”

Elsewhere in Europe, the Red Mist descends…

If at first you don’t succeed…
What Ronaldo wants, Ronaldo gets. Having failed to get that early bath when his ugly swing at Crespo went unnoticed by the referee, he finally succeeded with a cheeky kick out at Edimar, before nailing Crespo again with his backhand to the jaw. Absolutely beaming at his own efforts, he dusted down the little gold FIFA World Champion badge on his kit, proving to a disappointed watching world that the measure of a man is still his manners and maturity, rather than his medals.

Ronaldo is no stranger to getting his claws out, having already let them loose against Atletico, Malaga and Bilbao before, and it is unlikely that Cordoba will be the last. If anything this is a good reminder that even the finest footballers make false idols: Cristiano has his pride, Messi has his taxes, George Best had his women, Maradona had his drugs; even Pele is a hapless personality without a ball at his feet. Sometimes, footballers need to be absolved of the moral responsibility that the media makes them carry, or in Bebe’s case, the expectation as well. Away from the limelight that plagued him in Manchester and Portugal, he was by far the bigger handful between the two Portugese and finished the game having taken the most shots and completing the most dribbles and for a humble footballer like him, one has only the best wishes.

#thuglife
Philipe Mexes’ ballistic moment of madness on Saturday makes his red card count stand at 16 in 15 years, with a total of 43 games missed through suspension alone. Yet in his glittering collection of aggression, his blow-up against Stefano Mauri will surely stand up there as the most manic and dramatic of the lot. If ever there was a time to describe a player as having lost his head, this is surely it. In contrast, Mauri was startlingly composed even in Mexes’ chokehold and has ever right to be bewildered to be shown a yellow card for doing literally nothing. Fascinatingly, Mexes and Mauri square up again in the Coppa Italia as red cards shown in league games don’t apply in the cup, setting up a tremendously tasty encounter that Pippo Inzaghi is under serious fire to win.

Red or Dead

One man who did lose his head was Anderlecht’s Steven Defour, who was quite graphically depicted in a distasteful tifo (giant banner) with his head decapitated. Steven Defour had enjoyed some memorable years as captain of Standard Leige but all love was lost when he made his return to Belgian football at their eternal rivals Anderlecht. Defour may have toed the line of professionalism when he was sent off for thumping the ball into an angry crowd twice, but it was the Standard fans who first crossed it by a big distance. The football fan’s forgotten role is to support their team, rather than the modern hooligan’s preference for bullying their rivals into submission. Yes, rivalries between players and fans can make the game intense and even entertaining, but this was a public threat to a player’s morality, not a satiric jibe over a costly slip (Gerrard). Especially in the wake of the beheadings in Syria and especially in a country as multi-cultural as Belgium hopes to be, this banner and the sentiments behind it has no place in what ultimately is a sport, and has no right against a man who is, at the end of the day, just doing his job.

Red Hot (Just to end on a good note)
Paul Pogba has now scored four goals in his past four games, all against teams from Verona, and all of them fairly spectacular. He didn’t disappoint on Sunday, showing his delightful feet not just with this sumptuous skill and shot with his ‘wrong foot’, nor with this magnificent take down, but also with this little dance around in midfield. Oh, and he does a pretty good Bruce Lee as well:

Kicking The Blues: Business As Usual…Mostly

Kicking The Blues

To incorporate last night’s action, or inaction, we’re kicking the Tuesday blues instead – sorry if that meant a rather meaningless Monday for you lot.

If it helps it wasn’t one of Chubby Alonso’s finest week in terms of racking up them fantasy points, but as always there’s a good deal to be learnt. Here’s Chubby Alonso with some of his glorious moments from the weekend, as well as his share of gripes about it.

Is this the real life, or is it just Fantasy Football?

My Rights

On Saturday I predicted a riot of goals between two teams who began the season with a reputation for the bore-draw; sure enough it was Match of the Day’s first pick. I was vindicated by my selection of Kieran Trippier, who clocked up his second assist of the season with an excellent delivery from the corner, showing his potential to pick up points even while Burnley might be leaving more holes at the back than they’re used to. Danny Ings was once against amongst the goals and he looks like a man brimming with confidence, but the one with a massive sackful of it is none other than Jason Puncheon: the man not shy about leaving the pitch in the middle of the game to take a dump also seldom shies from taking a swing at the ball. As pointed out last Monday, J-Punch, just like Ings, appears to have taken responsibility for the club’s safety on his own shoulders, and is surely showing the fans that he’s got the balls to be the man for the job.

I will admit that with all the half-chances QPR carved out against Manchester United, Charlie Austin not scoring was probably a little fortunate – he’s shown again that he’s capable of mixing up against the best, even when the rest of his team aren’t, and that good ol fashioned strikers will always find a chance or two for themselves every game. And despite the unexpected hassle QPR caused, I stand by my decision to play Angel Di Maria – not that it takes much to stand by a £60mil man – because I’m placing the Argentine’s lack of output on Louis van Gaal’s tactical stubbornness.

It was indeed Van Gaal’s tactic-ing that drew all the attention post match. By his own admission his change to a diamond 4-4-2 in the second half – completed by the substitutions of Maroune Felliani and James Wilson, the game’s two goal scorers – creates more chances but leaves his team weak, but it is precisely this vulnerability that Gary Neville thinks United have lacked. Nerves, after all, don’t just happen – they take a good deal of steeling. A third defender leaves the option of the ‘safer pass’ and as long as that persists the ball will not go forward with the urgency that used to characterise Manchester United.

Neville’s stat of the nightpicked out the passes made by United’s centrebacks in the first half: 114 in total, a mere six less than the total managed by Arsenal’s, Chelsea’s and Southampton’s put together – three teams of course that pulled off wins against significantly testier opponents. The number was halved in the second half, with the tactical change handing the distribution duties to those more able on the ball instead. If Van Gaal does respond to the cries of “4-4-2” that was sounded out by the travelling United fans, then surely Di Maria will be on to something really soon.

The surge of attention shining on Santi Cazorla after Arsenal’s win gave the inverse impression that he was a player who has suddenly – and finally – made his breakthrough. The fact is that Santi has been operating consistently at this for a while now, and just two years ago was crowned as the club’s player of the year. The ‘coup’ of Mesut Ozil in his exact position has visibly taken the shine away but it is in the cool shades that he is happy to go about his business of helping fans get over the non-signing of a certain Cesc Fabregas.

Similarly, Olivier Giroud‘s goal on Sunday was the least of his contributions – his movement in pulling defenders away and his ability to make quick and intelligent passes shone through time and again to ensure that Arsenal didn’t need time on the ball to win – the 35% possession recorded was their lowest since Opta began collecting data – and it was his one-two in that led to Nacho Monreal winning the penalty in the first place.

It is inevitable that Giroud’s cleverness will find him in goal-scoring positions frequently and will be a worthwhile fantasy investment, dare I say more so than Santi himself – 61% of Santi’s shots have come from outside the box, and only a single goal has been scored from open play. This eye-catching performance might also win over some suitors, so having Santi might not be as maverick a move as one would think. For understated stars, how about a punt on young Hector Bellerin, whose endeavour on the right flank has apparently pipped him to the right-back berth over Callum Chambers, who is finding his favourite position to be the cursed John O’Shea.

The big story at Everton last night was Kevin Mirallas’ insistence on taking the penalty ahead of club darling Leighton Baines, who I will salute for being as gracious as they come in handing over his duties. Yet in that one kick Kevin Mirallas’ confidence peaked and emptied and a minute later was taken off for Bryan Oviedo because he ‘felt his hamstring’, which is football for ‘swallowed his pride and choked on it’. But at least there was a story on a boring evening: Everton’s clean sheet was not troubled as West Brom struggled to piece together a coherent attack, but equally the Baggies came well-drilled and would not have been surprised to clock their third clean sheet in a row.

The Tony Pulis era has well and truly begun and the role of Claudio Yacob (as pointed out in Gameweek 21’s Sweat My Squad) to all this could not be overstated. The same could be said of the reliable Chris Baird, one of Tony Pulis’ main changes made at Sebastian Poconogli’s expense. Priced at a mere 3.9 he’s the cheapest way into Tony Pulis’ back line and could be the most profitable – 44% of West Brom’s attacks came from the left flank last night, twice as much as it did on the right, where the more popular Andre Wisdom patrols.

As predicted, Bojan flourished against a dry Leicester side and with a win under their wings I’d back Stoke to go on a decent run of goals. Mark Hughes’ decision to stick Walters up front ahead showed his willingness to attack and press with pace and strength, and suggested that his use of Peter Crouch is more appropriate against teams who would be unsettled by a more rudimentary approach (ie. Arsenal, at the Brittania). His services weren’t needed against Leicester City, whose only real positive takeaway from this game was the sight of a recovered Jeffrey Schlupp down their left, showing no loss of form or endeavour.

My Revelations

A West Ham win over Hull was always on the cards, despite early jitters. Andy Carroll has come through again, thankfully, though he hardly looks likely to score more than once a game. It was Hull’s poor defending that gave Carroll a route through on goal, otherwise his lack of dynamism means he remains fairly limited as a forward. In contrast, Downing’s and Amalfitano’s goals were the result of some neat play from midfield to attack; it was telling that Carroll was nowhere close to being at the end of these moves.

Winston Reid‘s place on the bench was annoying, but more so was Big Sam’s decision to bring him on as the game was winding down, robbing him of enough minutes to earn the clean sheet points. As a goal-scoring option James Tomkins looked the significantly more likely option, time and again showing the knack to match the hunger to be at the end of crosses. Either way, with United, Liverpool, Southampton and Spurs to play over the next four games, Fantasy managers will be walking away from their West Ham assets with the oblivion of last night’s lover.

Branislav Ivanovic‘s nearly predictably good performance has taught me a fair lesson on form against fixtures, that a player who has cost me this much, playing for a team with such swag as well, ought to be fixture proof. It was a good reminder that I’d splashed the cash for his attacking potential, rather than defensive prowess. The rampaging Serb now has three assists to his name in his last three games, all of them coming from a combination of his well-timed, tireless runs into the box and his impeccable vision and ability to plate up the pass for an easy tap-in.

Oh yes, and Diego Costa was incredible – of course he was. He may be new to English football but he has surely found his new favourite opponents – his second goal was his 5th in 102 minutes against them. Eden Hazard may have had little output to show for his enterprise but his involvement throughout the game means that his quality will reap returns in the longer run. The same could be said of Gylfi Sigurdsson – still Swansea’s brightest spark – who was playing in a much more withdrawn role to accommodate an ineffective Nelson Oliviera. The Swans, and Sigurdsson, are looking like they miss Ki Sung-Yeung in midfield almost as much as they do Wilfried Bony up front.

Eriksen was the star to make up for Chadli‘s no-show, but the real revelation at White Hart Lane was a Jermain Defoe on his return to his old stomping ground, who won the free-kick and on another day might have won a penalty too with a sharp turn. If he can begin to get a full 90 minutes under his belt he’s got more than a goal in him. He’s already brought initiative sorely lacking up front for Sunderland and he’s certainly got the desire to score, insisting on playing for another 15 minutes when Poyet’s plan was to rest him on the hour. His presence, experience and quickness has allowed Sunderland to play in a new formation that produced an unusally high number of opportunities, and I wouldn’t be surprised if even Steven Fletcher began breaking his duck very soon.

Yes, it’s taken me a while, but Southampton do look like they’ve got all the trimmings of a top team – being able to score without playing particularly well being the latest addition to their armoury of attributes. My decision to bench Nathaniel Clyne was well-founded but my faith in Moussa Sissoko has been less so. No doubts that he is an excellent player but it’s been agonising seeing him come so close all the time without leaving his mark. Despite his fundamental role in Newcastle’s forays, he works almost too hard to be finding himself at the profitable end of it most of the time. In contrast, Eljero Elia was a passenger for large parts of the game yet found himself as the game’s official hero. I’d be wary of jumping on Elia’s inevitable bandwagon – his goals appeared to be a combination of confidence and luck rather than any genuine viciousness, but then again that might just be all you really need to make it in this game.

On the continent

It’s not been the most exciting weekend around the Big European Leagues, but that’s usually the case when it’s business as usual for the big boys on the block.

Paris Saint-Germain make the grade as a big dog, by default of their reputation. On Saturday they came from behind to beat a bottled-water company 4-2, featuring a real rarity – Zlatan Ibrahimovic setting up Edison Cavani for PSG’s fourth (though doubts remain if he’d actually expected Cavani to be at the end of his ball poked across goal). Still, PSG remain in third place, four points behind the real big dogs of French football. Olympique Lyon – winners of every championship from 2002-2008 – beat Lens 2-0 to clock their sixth win in a row, keeping them top of the pops for another week. Equally significant was Alexandre Lacazette’s customary goal, his 9th in his last 5 games. He retains his position as second only to Cristiano Ronaldo in goals scored this season, yes even ahead of one Lionel Messi. Little wonder that Lyon’s president has publicly declared him already a much better player than ‘the Welshman at Real Madrid’.

Not that Messi cares for competition though; he certainly played as though the Deportivo defenders didn’t exist, bagging his 33rd career hat-trick in Barcelona’s joyous 4-0 romp in La Coruna with an exhibition of goals as good as any we’ve seen him produce. Earlier in the day, Ronaldo had helped himself to two goals as the men from the capital refused a plucky Getafe resistance, but it took a sumptuous bit of skill from Benzema to bust that can open.

In Madrid there was also the little matter of Torres getting his first league start but failing to follow up on his mid-week heroics, so I guess that’s business as usual for the Fernando Torres we’ve come to know over the past years. He’ll have to get his act together quickly if he wants to remain in Atletico Madrid‘s future plans, plans that will see them become a de facto big dog of world football: the club have yesterday announced the sale of a 20% stake in their club to Wang Jianlin, the second wealthiest man in the world’s second largest country.

Business as usual also for Lazio, who have their taste of life without Felipe Anderson with an uninspiring loss to Napoli. Felipe Anderson, of course, was out with a mix of a knee injury, some literal Daddy issues, and a serious case of the Chubby Alonso Jinx. It remains that there is only one genuine top don in Italy: Juventus casually showing how it’s done by spooning four goals past Hellas Verona, making it 10 goals in three days against the hapless side. Paul Pogba, who’d showed off his basketball skills before scoring on Thursday night, with the pick of the lot.

Qatar News (and it’s got little to do with FIFA…I think)

Meanwhile in Qatar, Pep’s efforts to get his team chomping at the bit has worked a little too well, rubbing off on a crocodile that was having a mid-day swim when the hand of Arjen Robben slipped into between its teeth….

…not that Pep would worry too much about Robben – it’s Badstuber he loves the most, and everyone knows that now:

Kicking The Blues: Everything You Need To Know From The Weekend (Starring: European Capital Cities)

Kicking The Blues

Legend has it that it is football, not laughter, that is the best medicine. So what batter way to kill the monday blues than with a dose of it? Having woken up rather heavily after last night’s manic bout of football, Chubby Alonso rounds up all that is worth knowing about the weekend’s action.

Is this the real life, or is this just a Fantasy Review?

For all those who sweat my squad or took my tips, thank you, apologies, and you are welcome, depending on which way you flew. Things didn’t go too badly this week, with the Premiership delivering few surprises, but that’s barely good enough…here’s some learning points:

My Rights

Leighton Baines, and Everton, look a good bet. They ended the game well and will look to bring that over to the next game. Baines and Coleman both looked busy, and the team played to Lukaku’s strength and pace by releasing him quickly time and again. Martinez appears to have taken his players’ constructive feedback well and it showed against City where they looked good playing direct football on the counter. Silva was predictably influential and the pairing of Fernando and Fernandinho was tidy, but neither were able to be a real ‘Toure’ de Force going forward. Sergio Aguero will have to shake off that rust, and quick.

For big parts of the game, Swansea looked incapable of handling Andy Carroll, summed up in the sight of the five Swans surrounding him, blurry as he coaxed a quite wonderful shot into the net. Similarly, his opposite number Bafetimbi Gomis looked like a raging bull at times and dispatched his header with much aplomb. No surprises then that the goal came as a direct result of another set piece from Gylfi Sigurdsson– he lives to deliver.

Charlie Austin proved that the bigger risk was indeed leaving him out of the fantasy side. This game told the typical story of QPR’s offensive prowess: Adel Taarabt started and finished the 90 mins forgettably; Charlie Austin scores his 13th league goal – 57% of QPR’s total haul. Kieran Trippier also continued to impress, him and Ben Mee putting in good shifts on the flanks in support of Scott Arfield and Georgie Boyd – both were awarded a bonus point for their efforts. Coming from under the radar, Burnley are slowly but surely picking up rhythm, and the team’s growing confidence was evident in Arfield’s superb solo goal, fuelling Sean Dyche’s mild jibe that the same goal scored by Alexis Sanchez would have been showed a hundred times over the weekend. Sanchez would then score an identical goal a day later to really put that theory to the test (validated!).

Gareth McAuley put in the sort of performance Tony Pulis would ask of his centrebacks and was duly recognised with a bonus point. Both teams were otherwise poor going forward and West Brom were lucky to score. They may not always look good value for a win, but under Pulis they should look increasingly hard to beat.

Newcastle may have ruffled some real feathers in the first half against Chelsea but at the final whistle it was Mourinho’s men emerging with the win – 2-0 becoming an annoyingly familiar scoreline. At the very highest level it’s about the chances you take, not the ones you make: Cabella was enterprising with little end product and unless he develops a deadly dimension to his game, will surely be found out soon enough. Diego Costa on the other hand has proved to be merciless on a day that Eden Hazard spared himself of taking any shots. Branislav Ivanovic was brave at the back and instrumental in stealing the impetus from Newcastle – his combination with Willian from the corner set up Oscar’s opener while Tim Krul had his back turned and Newcastle, for one fatal moment, had their lights off.

Angel Di Maria would have been disappointed to be taken off against Southampton. He was lively going forward when United were at their direct best, and looked desperate to make something happen. If he keeps getting behind defences like he endeavoured to yesterday he will surely explode into life against less organised sides. Southampton were as tidy and efficient as they come; they may not have threatened too much but the point was that neither did United – their midfield largely nullified the Red Devils and put in the ‘perfect away performance’ that will leave Gary Neville purring.

Philippe Coutinho was a buzzing presence for Liverpool, taking on players, having a go at goal. Still, his star was overshadowed by the bright Lazar Markovic, who sorely needs a good run of games to keep producing. It will be interesting to see who survives the return of Sterling and Sturridge, but until then, Brendan Rodgers will find it hard to drop the confident Coutinho.

My Revelations

Leicester City look foxy again, but so did they when they beat Manchester United, before going without a win in their next 13 games. At least David Nugent seems motivated this time. Last season’s top scorer was unlucky to strike the crossbar with another magnificent effort and his energy could be infectious as Leicester seek to go on another run. Villa, on the other hand, look like a team short of ideas, and Paul Lambert like a man out of time.

In a post-match interview Alan Pardew proclaimed that he didn’t remember Selhurst Park being this loud when he last played. His appointment is paying dividends faster than expected: with the fans in full voice, Palace turned defeat into victory and the team now look like they believe. The temperamental Jason Puncheon – ever the man for the big occasion – scored the emphatic winner after some lovely skill from the substitute Zaha, his first since August, and his increasingly important role for the team means there is surely more in store.

Nacer Chadli again popped up in good positions and set up Kane’s goal, but without the right balls finding him, had a muted game. Spurs ought not worry too much though: this day was one of those that was always going to be Pardew’s.

Theo Walcott should have scored but looks far from a real come back. Alexis’ Sanchez’s predictably persistent brilliance means he should not be rushed back. Yet it is hard to make any real inferences about the Arsenal team from this game. They were always going to win, never looked troubled, and Mark Hughes is a man running out of ideas. Sparky needs a spark, and the frustrating Arnautovic is not it.

Elsewhere in Europe

Paris come together, but also fall apart. On a day when the world had their eyes on Paris, PSG took theirs off the ball. Having raced into a two-goal lead against struggling Bastia they left the island on the losing side, the first time Blanc’s PSG side had conceded four goals. The decisive third by Julian Palmieri was a sumptuous Scholes-esque first time volley, that – echoing Sean Dyche’s sentiments – if scored by the master himself would have be talked about for a while to come.

Just as they did with Jesus’ garments, the Romans shared the spoils on a weekend possibly symbolic of Serie A’s second coming. Traditionally renown for dull defensive performances, the Italian league is enjoying a sort of Indian summer. This weekend’s glut of goals is the latest harvest from some supreme finishing and atypically bad defending: Serie A’s 34 goals scored doubling the Premier League’s miserly provision of 17.

Florence may have served up 7 goals but the game of the weekend comes from none other than the capital city itself, and finally for all the right reasons. In a game of two halves, Lazio were electrifying in the first. Spearheaded by the inspirational Felipe Anderson, who now has 5 goals and 5 assists in his last 5 games, their attacks were too pacey and too plentiful for Roma to handle. But Roma roared back in the second, the 38 year old Totti scoring his record 10th league Derby goal and celebrated the occasion by taking a #selfie. Still, the big winners on Super Sunday were in Turin as Juventus opened up a three point lead after an ambling win in Naples; Pogba and Vidal again each with a sensational strike to put some undeserved gloss on an otherwise uninspired performance.

Madrid was less chipper. Real Madrid won comfortably but the fans once again found something to be disgruntled about. For the second time this year they have picked on Gareth Bale for not realising that a Real rout isn’t a rout ’til Ronaldo scores. Such was the vociferousness of the blame levelled at the Welshman for shooting rather than passing to Ronaldo (Cristiano himself would have done no differently) that Carlo Ancelotti thought it appropriate to publicly fend off accusations of selfish play.

A day later their cross-town neighbours were taken apart by a team they might have to face twice more this month. Where Ronaldo failed, all of Barcelona’s front three succeeded, each scoring in a picture perfect win; to throw salt at wounds, Messi even did what Bale didn’t – feeding the pass to Suarez to register his 100th La Liga assist. Unlike his midweek gambles, Simeone’s one rotation backfired – Jesus Gamez was time and again schooled by Messi, who started on the right of a front three, often dropped deep, and suckered defenders out with great glee.

RIP Junior Malanda

The German winter break has seen teams jetting off in search of warmer climes, so the sheer silence on the football front has amplified the loud thud of Wolfsburg’s fallen young midfielder. Junior Malanda is a Belgian under-21 international who has been a regular fixture in Wolfsburg’s prospering midfield, even if he has been better known for his two blinding misses this season. On Saturday he was a passenger in a car crash, a Volkswagen of all cars – Volkswagen of course being the primary sponsor of VfL Wolfsburg, who play at Volkswagen Arena. Perhaps it is this commentator’s curse gone horribly wrong; regardless, this is a sobering reality that footballers, even the brightest of them, are mere mortals.