Ballon d’Or

The Friday Burrito: Goals, Balls and Golden Balls

The Friday Burrito

If you enjoyed Chubby Alonso’s Friday Burrito mix last week, you might appreciate this week’s too. This week’s wrap may be a little less spicy, but it more than makes up for it with an unhealthy amount of stardust.

Here’s Chubby Alonso’s recipe for the week:

1. FA Cup Replays

Calls for the abolition of the FA Cup replay may mean that this rather archaic practice will soon be no more, but until then let us indulge in them. The six mid-week cup replays have served up a host of goals: 25 goals (8 more than last weekend’s premier league fixtures) and 29 penalty kicks. Wolves and Fulham may have put up a 3-3 thriller on a snowcapped evening that made for some beautiful photo-memories, but the game on the night was undoubtedly at Upton Park. A match that had everything – an early red card (for Aiden McGeady), a fight back, even a Carlton Cole goal – ended with a goalkeeper scoring the winning penalty. The Premier League moneybags may scoff at replays, but nights like these show what a joy they can be for the fans – and surely that’s all that matters?

2. A Meaty Bony


The Wilfried Bony deal was quick, painless and good for all parties. No duplicity, no fuss; Garry Monk may have been openly resigned to losing one of his best players but showed the strength to resist a lower fee, and the optimism to push forward regardless. This means that Bony is now the most expensive African player, and has suddenly found himself in a club where he stands a realistic chance of ending the season with his first trophy in a big European league. For City they’ve got themselves a hefty (literally) Plan B in the Premier League’s top scorer in 2014 (20 goals) to go along with Aguero and Toure – second and third top scorers respectively – but also a bunch of other problems. Question marks remain over where he’ll fit in when Aguero is healthy, especially when both Bony and City have recently thrived in a lone striker system. The same question marks loom even more precariously over some players in the squad who have found themselves increasingly pushed to the fringes. Due to UEFA restrictions, Pellegrini will have to drop a foreign player from his European squad, making the next few weeks a pretty uneasy one for Jovetic, Dzeko or perhaps even both.

3. Mr. World

In football’s very own version of the famous popularity contest, Cristiano Ronaldo is Mr. World 2014. Cristiano himself, of course, affectionately thinks of himself as the world, and few had any doubts he was going to win the Ballon d’Or. Real Madrid won La Decima, Messi endured a trophyless season, Ronaldo scored lots and lots of goals. Of course he’s worked hard for that, and few will ever begrudge every honour given to the man. I, for one, think that Ronaldo is the better player. Messi may be the more aesthetically pleasing footballer, but Ronaldo is a manager’s dream – no matter how poorly set up the team is, no matter the formation or the supporting cast, he’s got the capacity and the grit to do what you’d want him to do for you, and more. In celebration, Nike gifted him a pair of diamond-encrusted ‘Mercurial CR7 Rare Gold’ boots, because there’s no better time to be a sponsor of the world’s most popular footballer.

4. Empty Hands

Perhaps the more deserved (and less mundane) story of Monday night’s event is that of those who didn’t win. Stephanie Roche will have enjoyed a special night out but she must still feel disappointed to return to her£650-a-month job at newly-promoted ASPTT Albi without the Puskas award. The trophy will instead find its place as one of surely many more on the mantlepiece of Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez, whose goal was fantastic, but hardly better. This was a terrific chance to divorce celebrity from the choice but it was star-power that won the day again, just as Zlatan’s did last time round.

Star-power was also the rule in FIFPro’s World XI, which featured two members of Brazil’s disappointing World Cup campaign and a key member of a Barcelona and Spanish team, two sides that in 2014 defined the word ‘defeated’. The inclusion of David Luiz, participant in that 7-1 defeat was particularly surprising, given that he only occasionally featured for Chelsea that season, and has had a rather vanilla start with a PSG side currently 4th in a weak Ligue Un. Diego Godin, on the other hand, may have scored in the Champions League final, scored the goal that took Uruguay out of the group stages in the World Cup, and won La Liga with Atletico Madrid, but he couldn’t even make the ‘Reserve XI’. I don’t think anyone will be taking these lists too seriously

5. Return of The Kid


Real Madrid may have the best squad in the world but the treble is officially beyond them this season. Before kick off they flaunted Cristiano Ronaldo (in abovementioned diamond boots), James Rodriguez, Toni Kroos and Sergio Ramos with their shiny new trophies from Monday night, but it was a Fernando Torres, once breaker of Barca hearts, who would send not one, but two pins flying towards Real’s brimming bubble. These were El Nino’s first goals in a Madrid derby, having failed to score in 10 attempts during his first spell, and they had come quick and fast: 49 seconds within the start of the first half and then 35 seconds within the second. Indeed, but for his goals Real may have cruised to an unlikely comeback victory over a stubborn Simeone side that sat far too deep for their own good. Real Madrid was hardly at their worst, but Sergio Ramos was certainly at his calamitous best; he may have scored, but goals don’t make games. Torres will do well to bear that in mind – he has come away as the day’s official hero but apart from his two smart finishes he had little else to show for his efforts and was later taken off for Arda Turan, who looked much more clever and assured with the ball. The prodigal son may be home, but there’s a long road yet to redemption.

And because I’ve been good this week, a bonus dessert:
6. A Bag of Crisps


David Moyes was sent to the stands as Real Sociedad went out of the Copa Del Rey but he preserved his dignity with some expert technique to scale the barriers, and then by enjoying a crisp and a laugh with the fans in the stands. Oh and the nuts he turned down? A bag of Mister Crisps, which sources say can get pretty nasty….making David Moyes a man with some pretty fine taste.

I Spy: The Next Ronaldo (And He’s Looking A Bit Brazilian)

I Spy

On the morning of the 13th January, Sebastião Tomé Gomes sent his white Fiat crashing through the streets of Santa Maria in Brazil, killing his ‘love rival’ on a runaway motorcycle, as well as a woman who was sound asleep when the two vehicles came crashing through her walls. The headlines were soon quick to point out that this man was none other than the father of a certain Felipe Anderson, a footballer, no less – the new darling of Lazio.

It was slightly fortuitous timing then that it was merely hours before that a more famous footballer had walked up some steps, nabbed a golden ball, and walked off with it. Cristiano Ronaldo would have been glad to take the spotlight away from Felipe Anderson: the Ballon d’Or winner must have his day; Anderson must be relieved to have this little bit of respite, at least.

Yet the forcefulness with which these headlines had hit the media – more so than the death itself of another young talent Junior Malanda – has shown how Anderson’s celebrity stock is on the rise. This is a man who had started 2015 better than anyone else: on his first game of the new year he put in an astonishing performance against Sampdoria, literally plating up goals for Marco Parolo and Filip Djordjevic while himself scoring from the finest and firmest of strikes (see from 0:44 of the video). Still, the highlight of the match came after that when Sampdoria’s manager Sinisa Mihajlovic proclaimed that he “looked like Cristiano Ronaldo”, magic words that would send every decent journalist flurrying after their pen. This was high praise of course coming from Mihajlovic, himself a Lazio legend and a key cog in The Eagles’ last great title winning side 15 years ago.

The Next Ronaldo


What struck me about Mihajlovic’s words were not merely the truth in the statement, but also the rarity of it, especially at the highest level. Titles such as the ‘Next Pele‘ or the ‘Next Maradona’ or the ‘Next Messi’ are bandied about rather flagrantly, but the ‘Next Ronaldo’ appears to be something else altogether. Because Ronaldo is not so much that elegant, graceful dribbler who attacks with a real finesse – the sort you’ll see bullying poor kids in a hopeful demo-tape. Nor is he that cheeky, extravagant – almost obnoxious – player that for a short while gave Nani the mantle of being Ronaldo’s replacement at Old Trafford.

Because Ronaldo is football’s alpha male, the sort that exists only at the highest professional level: a complete player who is both fast and powerful, technically perfect, direct and confident. For a while Gareth Bale came close, but now that the two are put side-by-side, few have since dared openly suggested this parallel. It remains that Ronaldo himself is a freak mismatch of gift and guile, dedication and desire, and that the ‘Next Ronaldo’ is better found not in a particular type of player, but in a phenomenon – yes the very word used to describe the original Brazilian prototype.

Enter Felipe Anderson, football’s latest sensation. It may be pre-mature to be making a call at this juncture, but where is the fun in dealing with a known entity? Anderson is my firm candidate to follow in the Ballon d’Or winner’s footsteps as a phenom ready to take the football world by storm.


It may be early days yet, but the now infamous stat line of 5 goals and 5 assists in his past 5 games may seem too good to continue until you actually watch this kid. Among his best attributes are his speed (rated as the fastest in Serie A), skill and ball control – just imagine the velocity of Bale that springs him past defenders, coupled with Hazard’s turn of pace that can send him on mazy measured runs that are near impossible to halt. Add in a touch of Iniesta’s inventiveness and we might be dealing with something really special here:

More than anything I appreciate the little things: his youthful approach to attack – more direct, less patient, yet also his maturity to constantly look out for his teammates’ runs, even while on the fly. Indeed he appears poised, composed, and fairly grown up for a 21 year old. Then again he has had his fair share of growing: this is Anderson’s second season in Serie A – meaning he’s already been through worst bit – and if he can avoid the sophomore slump, he’s just got clear skies ahead.


But there is also a lot of growing in him left: this season is also his first under Stefano Pioli, who appears to have created a system that gives Felipe Anderson real freedom going forward, perhaps the same sort of mandate Ferguson gave to Ronaldo when he set him loose against Bolton that autumn day in 2003. The 35 year old captain Stefano Mauri also appears to have taken the kid under his wise wings, maybe in the same way that Ryan Giggs might have done to CR7. Lazio might not be able to hold on to him for long, but it does seems like he’s found himself a good place to call home for now.

Or the Next Neymar?


Along with Cristiano Ronaldo, Felipe Anderson recognises Neymar as a player who inspires him (of all things for his “spectacular movement without the ball”). These are strange yet humbling words coming from someone merely a year Neymar’s junior, someone who while at Santos must have at some point fancied himself to be no less than Neymar. Still, Felipe Anderson looks up and recognises how far he has come, yet also how far he has left to go. The boy who was from his kindergarten class invited by businessman Rafael Felix to train with Coritiba covets playing for Barcelona one day, perhaps lining up alongside Neymar once again.

The last time that happened, Santos were Copa Libertadores champions, their first since 1963 when a certain Pele led them to cup glory. Now that Neymar has achieved what many other ‘Next Pele’s before couldn’t for Santos, could Felipe Anderson perhaps achieve what no other ‘Next Ronaldos can? One will hope that the kid has the hunger to do so, just as Cristiano himself did, and still does to this day.