Kicking The Blues: Upset People Upset People

Kicking The Blues

When you’re having a bad day, sometimes all you want is someone to listen. But we’ve all got that annoying friend who will instead try to ‘compete’ your blues away by explaining how your misery pales in comparison to the terrible day he’s having. You’re tired and you’re a nice person, so you listen anyway. Here’s Chubby Alonso, taking up that mantle of your annoying friend to recount a weekend of upset people and upset teams. Be nice, listen, and feel better:

It’s in the little things: Some stuff you might or might not have missed about the FA Cupsets

It was not till Sunday that the magic of the FA cup took its first victims. The first upset came at Ashton Gate, where League One leaders Bristol City were taken down a by late goal from West Ham’s Sakho. Brighton were the next victims of the cup curse, falling to Tomas Rosicky’s inspirational imitation of Cazorla’s masterclass at Manchester City, complete with this magnificent goal, including a no-look one-two in its build-up.

Otherwise it all went according to script till, with all of the top three Premier League teams succumbing to the hunger of Lower League predators. Manchester United, fourth in the Premier League and second in the Deloitte Football Money League, escaped the clutches of Cambridge United and earned themselves a lucrative replay.

1. Home is where the heart is

Luke Chadwick will always be known for two things: for being one of the least aesthetically pleasing players of his time, and being on the books of Manchester United – even winning a championship medal with them 14 years ago. On Friday evening he came on for what many people considered as a sort of homecoming for him, but the truth was that even while at United, he was always more at home in Cambridge. Prior to the FA Cup fixture, The Guardian’s Stuart James met Chadwick and bled out a lovely tale of football, fame and family. Among my favourite anecdotes are the stories of how his wife would buy him a Cambridge United kit every Christmas, how he has a mural of the club crest plastered on a wall at home, and his child-like admiration for the Class of ’92.

2. Pardew has Palace Purring

Alan Pardew has only been at the Palace helm for four games but he’s already reaped four wins and twelve goals for some very happy fans. The players themselves seem to be enjoying their football, least of all a flying Wilf Zaha. Yet it was the returning Maurone Chamakh, playing in a strange No.10 role against third place Southampton, who really impressed Pardew. His post-match comment was particularly interesting: “The guys said to me ‘you’re going to get a lift in the team when you see him play’”, revealing just how highly regarded he is by his teammates, which some will say is the highest honour. Equally interesting was the fact that Palace’s front four consisted of players who were once (or still are) on the books of either Arsenal and Manchester United, perhaps a hat-tip to how raw talent sometimes need a stage to shine. Either way, two of them shone brightly, and combined with devastating effect for Palace’s beautifully worked winning goal.

3. Manchester City turn up late for their date

Title-contenders Manchester City may have spent the better part of last week under the sun in Abu Dhabi, but they will really be feeling the heat now. A win on Saturday would have shoved the spotlights out the door but they didn’t, so the club’s decision not only to take a midweek middle eastern break and return only 19 hours before the fixture has come under scrutiny as one that is both abhorrent and arrogant: abhorrent for the way the suits in the hierarchy have been allowed to call the shots at the football club, and arrogant because their approach would surely have been different if it was in fact Chelsea they were due to face. As a result, City were ill-prepared and failed to turn up against a side that has played five more league games than Chelsea this season but has conceded one less goal. Instead it was Mourinho’s old right-hand man Aitor Karanka who orchestrated a performance worthy of the master; and it was Lee Tomlin who turned more heads than Sergio Aguero, who has now gone over 210 minutes without a goal.

4. Bradford United

Phil Parkinson was a picture of professionalism when approached by Mourinho for one of his derisory pre-mature handshakes, keeping his cold hands snug in his pockets. Similarly, when Jose hollered down the tunnel at Filipe Morais before the game, Morais refused to be rattled, even if it was likely more of a gesture than a sick mind-game. Still, these battle-ready facades worn by manager and player alike were symbolic of Bradford City’s united front on display at Stamford Bridge. This game may have meant particularly much to Morais, who played in Mourinho’s first ever Chelsea game in charge in 2004 (a friendly against Oxford) and has publicly regretted subsequently turning down a contract extension at the club, yet he barely made it about him. At 29, the goalscorer of Bradford’s equaliser has come a long way and is a surprising example for today’s sentimental professionals: “I always thought I wouldn’t celebrate if I scored…but when you score you are just overcome with emotion…I didn’t want to give the Bradford fans the injustice of not celebrating – they deserve it. This is the club I play for and I’m absolutely honoured to do so.”

Elsewhere in Europe, the Red Mist descends…

If at first you don’t succeed…
What Ronaldo wants, Ronaldo gets. Having failed to get that early bath when his ugly swing at Crespo went unnoticed by the referee, he finally succeeded with a cheeky kick out at Edimar, before nailing Crespo again with his backhand to the jaw. Absolutely beaming at his own efforts, he dusted down the little gold FIFA World Champion badge on his kit, proving to a disappointed watching world that the measure of a man is still his manners and maturity, rather than his medals.

Ronaldo is no stranger to getting his claws out, having already let them loose against Atletico, Malaga and Bilbao before, and it is unlikely that Cordoba will be the last. If anything this is a good reminder that even the finest footballers make false idols: Cristiano has his pride, Messi has his taxes, George Best had his women, Maradona had his drugs; even Pele is a hapless personality without a ball at his feet. Sometimes, footballers need to be absolved of the moral responsibility that the media makes them carry, or in Bebe’s case, the expectation as well. Away from the limelight that plagued him in Manchester and Portugal, he was by far the bigger handful between the two Portugese and finished the game having taken the most shots and completing the most dribbles and for a humble footballer like him, one has only the best wishes.

#thuglife
Philipe Mexes’ ballistic moment of madness on Saturday makes his red card count stand at 16 in 15 years, with a total of 43 games missed through suspension alone. Yet in his glittering collection of aggression, his blow-up against Stefano Mauri will surely stand up there as the most manic and dramatic of the lot. If ever there was a time to describe a player as having lost his head, this is surely it. In contrast, Mauri was startlingly composed even in Mexes’ chokehold and has ever right to be bewildered to be shown a yellow card for doing literally nothing. Fascinatingly, Mexes and Mauri square up again in the Coppa Italia as red cards shown in league games don’t apply in the cup, setting up a tremendously tasty encounter that Pippo Inzaghi is under serious fire to win.

Red or Dead

One man who did lose his head was Anderlecht’s Steven Defour, who was quite graphically depicted in a distasteful tifo (giant banner) with his head decapitated. Steven Defour had enjoyed some memorable years as captain of Standard Leige but all love was lost when he made his return to Belgian football at their eternal rivals Anderlecht. Defour may have toed the line of professionalism when he was sent off for thumping the ball into an angry crowd twice, but it was the Standard fans who first crossed it by a big distance. The football fan’s forgotten role is to support their team, rather than the modern hooligan’s preference for bullying their rivals into submission. Yes, rivalries between players and fans can make the game intense and even entertaining, but this was a public threat to a player’s morality, not a satiric jibe over a costly slip (Gerrard). Especially in the wake of the beheadings in Syria and especially in a country as multi-cultural as Belgium hopes to be, this banner and the sentiments behind it has no place in what ultimately is a sport, and has no right against a man who is, at the end of the day, just doing his job.

Red Hot (Just to end on a good note)
Paul Pogba has now scored four goals in his past four games, all against teams from Verona, and all of them fairly spectacular. He didn’t disappoint on Sunday, showing his delightful feet not just with this sumptuous skill and shot with his ‘wrong foot’, nor with this magnificent take down, but also with this little dance around in midfield. Oh, and he does a pretty good Bruce Lee as well:

Kicking The Blues: Business As Usual…Mostly

Kicking The Blues

To incorporate last night’s action, or inaction, we’re kicking the Tuesday blues instead – sorry if that meant a rather meaningless Monday for you lot.

If it helps it wasn’t one of Chubby Alonso’s finest week in terms of racking up them fantasy points, but as always there’s a good deal to be learnt. Here’s Chubby Alonso with some of his glorious moments from the weekend, as well as his share of gripes about it.

Is this the real life, or is it just Fantasy Football?

My Rights

On Saturday I predicted a riot of goals between two teams who began the season with a reputation for the bore-draw; sure enough it was Match of the Day’s first pick. I was vindicated by my selection of Kieran Trippier, who clocked up his second assist of the season with an excellent delivery from the corner, showing his potential to pick up points even while Burnley might be leaving more holes at the back than they’re used to. Danny Ings was once against amongst the goals and he looks like a man brimming with confidence, but the one with a massive sackful of it is none other than Jason Puncheon: the man not shy about leaving the pitch in the middle of the game to take a dump also seldom shies from taking a swing at the ball. As pointed out last Monday, J-Punch, just like Ings, appears to have taken responsibility for the club’s safety on his own shoulders, and is surely showing the fans that he’s got the balls to be the man for the job.

I will admit that with all the half-chances QPR carved out against Manchester United, Charlie Austin not scoring was probably a little fortunate – he’s shown again that he’s capable of mixing up against the best, even when the rest of his team aren’t, and that good ol fashioned strikers will always find a chance or two for themselves every game. And despite the unexpected hassle QPR caused, I stand by my decision to play Angel Di Maria – not that it takes much to stand by a £60mil man – because I’m placing the Argentine’s lack of output on Louis van Gaal’s tactical stubbornness.

It was indeed Van Gaal’s tactic-ing that drew all the attention post match. By his own admission his change to a diamond 4-4-2 in the second half – completed by the substitutions of Maroune Felliani and James Wilson, the game’s two goal scorers – creates more chances but leaves his team weak, but it is precisely this vulnerability that Gary Neville thinks United have lacked. Nerves, after all, don’t just happen – they take a good deal of steeling. A third defender leaves the option of the ‘safer pass’ and as long as that persists the ball will not go forward with the urgency that used to characterise Manchester United.

Neville’s stat of the nightpicked out the passes made by United’s centrebacks in the first half: 114 in total, a mere six less than the total managed by Arsenal’s, Chelsea’s and Southampton’s put together – three teams of course that pulled off wins against significantly testier opponents. The number was halved in the second half, with the tactical change handing the distribution duties to those more able on the ball instead. If Van Gaal does respond to the cries of “4-4-2” that was sounded out by the travelling United fans, then surely Di Maria will be on to something really soon.

The surge of attention shining on Santi Cazorla after Arsenal’s win gave the inverse impression that he was a player who has suddenly – and finally – made his breakthrough. The fact is that Santi has been operating consistently at this for a while now, and just two years ago was crowned as the club’s player of the year. The ‘coup’ of Mesut Ozil in his exact position has visibly taken the shine away but it is in the cool shades that he is happy to go about his business of helping fans get over the non-signing of a certain Cesc Fabregas.

Similarly, Olivier Giroud‘s goal on Sunday was the least of his contributions – his movement in pulling defenders away and his ability to make quick and intelligent passes shone through time and again to ensure that Arsenal didn’t need time on the ball to win – the 35% possession recorded was their lowest since Opta began collecting data – and it was his one-two in that led to Nacho Monreal winning the penalty in the first place.

It is inevitable that Giroud’s cleverness will find him in goal-scoring positions frequently and will be a worthwhile fantasy investment, dare I say more so than Santi himself – 61% of Santi’s shots have come from outside the box, and only a single goal has been scored from open play. This eye-catching performance might also win over some suitors, so having Santi might not be as maverick a move as one would think. For understated stars, how about a punt on young Hector Bellerin, whose endeavour on the right flank has apparently pipped him to the right-back berth over Callum Chambers, who is finding his favourite position to be the cursed John O’Shea.

The big story at Everton last night was Kevin Mirallas’ insistence on taking the penalty ahead of club darling Leighton Baines, who I will salute for being as gracious as they come in handing over his duties. Yet in that one kick Kevin Mirallas’ confidence peaked and emptied and a minute later was taken off for Bryan Oviedo because he ‘felt his hamstring’, which is football for ‘swallowed his pride and choked on it’. But at least there was a story on a boring evening: Everton’s clean sheet was not troubled as West Brom struggled to piece together a coherent attack, but equally the Baggies came well-drilled and would not have been surprised to clock their third clean sheet in a row.

The Tony Pulis era has well and truly begun and the role of Claudio Yacob (as pointed out in Gameweek 21’s Sweat My Squad) to all this could not be overstated. The same could be said of the reliable Chris Baird, one of Tony Pulis’ main changes made at Sebastian Poconogli’s expense. Priced at a mere 3.9 he’s the cheapest way into Tony Pulis’ back line and could be the most profitable – 44% of West Brom’s attacks came from the left flank last night, twice as much as it did on the right, where the more popular Andre Wisdom patrols.

As predicted, Bojan flourished against a dry Leicester side and with a win under their wings I’d back Stoke to go on a decent run of goals. Mark Hughes’ decision to stick Walters up front ahead showed his willingness to attack and press with pace and strength, and suggested that his use of Peter Crouch is more appropriate against teams who would be unsettled by a more rudimentary approach (ie. Arsenal, at the Brittania). His services weren’t needed against Leicester City, whose only real positive takeaway from this game was the sight of a recovered Jeffrey Schlupp down their left, showing no loss of form or endeavour.

My Revelations

A West Ham win over Hull was always on the cards, despite early jitters. Andy Carroll has come through again, thankfully, though he hardly looks likely to score more than once a game. It was Hull’s poor defending that gave Carroll a route through on goal, otherwise his lack of dynamism means he remains fairly limited as a forward. In contrast, Downing’s and Amalfitano’s goals were the result of some neat play from midfield to attack; it was telling that Carroll was nowhere close to being at the end of these moves.

Winston Reid‘s place on the bench was annoying, but more so was Big Sam’s decision to bring him on as the game was winding down, robbing him of enough minutes to earn the clean sheet points. As a goal-scoring option James Tomkins looked the significantly more likely option, time and again showing the knack to match the hunger to be at the end of crosses. Either way, with United, Liverpool, Southampton and Spurs to play over the next four games, Fantasy managers will be walking away from their West Ham assets with the oblivion of last night’s lover.

Branislav Ivanovic‘s nearly predictably good performance has taught me a fair lesson on form against fixtures, that a player who has cost me this much, playing for a team with such swag as well, ought to be fixture proof. It was a good reminder that I’d splashed the cash for his attacking potential, rather than defensive prowess. The rampaging Serb now has three assists to his name in his last three games, all of them coming from a combination of his well-timed, tireless runs into the box and his impeccable vision and ability to plate up the pass for an easy tap-in.

Oh yes, and Diego Costa was incredible – of course he was. He may be new to English football but he has surely found his new favourite opponents – his second goal was his 5th in 102 minutes against them. Eden Hazard may have had little output to show for his enterprise but his involvement throughout the game means that his quality will reap returns in the longer run. The same could be said of Gylfi Sigurdsson – still Swansea’s brightest spark – who was playing in a much more withdrawn role to accommodate an ineffective Nelson Oliviera. The Swans, and Sigurdsson, are looking like they miss Ki Sung-Yeung in midfield almost as much as they do Wilfried Bony up front.

Eriksen was the star to make up for Chadli‘s no-show, but the real revelation at White Hart Lane was a Jermain Defoe on his return to his old stomping ground, who won the free-kick and on another day might have won a penalty too with a sharp turn. If he can begin to get a full 90 minutes under his belt he’s got more than a goal in him. He’s already brought initiative sorely lacking up front for Sunderland and he’s certainly got the desire to score, insisting on playing for another 15 minutes when Poyet’s plan was to rest him on the hour. His presence, experience and quickness has allowed Sunderland to play in a new formation that produced an unusally high number of opportunities, and I wouldn’t be surprised if even Steven Fletcher began breaking his duck very soon.

Yes, it’s taken me a while, but Southampton do look like they’ve got all the trimmings of a top team – being able to score without playing particularly well being the latest addition to their armoury of attributes. My decision to bench Nathaniel Clyne was well-founded but my faith in Moussa Sissoko has been less so. No doubts that he is an excellent player but it’s been agonising seeing him come so close all the time without leaving his mark. Despite his fundamental role in Newcastle’s forays, he works almost too hard to be finding himself at the profitable end of it most of the time. In contrast, Eljero Elia was a passenger for large parts of the game yet found himself as the game’s official hero. I’d be wary of jumping on Elia’s inevitable bandwagon – his goals appeared to be a combination of confidence and luck rather than any genuine viciousness, but then again that might just be all you really need to make it in this game.

On the continent

It’s not been the most exciting weekend around the Big European Leagues, but that’s usually the case when it’s business as usual for the big boys on the block.

Paris Saint-Germain make the grade as a big dog, by default of their reputation. On Saturday they came from behind to beat a bottled-water company 4-2, featuring a real rarity – Zlatan Ibrahimovic setting up Edison Cavani for PSG’s fourth (though doubts remain if he’d actually expected Cavani to be at the end of his ball poked across goal). Still, PSG remain in third place, four points behind the real big dogs of French football. Olympique Lyon – winners of every championship from 2002-2008 – beat Lens 2-0 to clock their sixth win in a row, keeping them top of the pops for another week. Equally significant was Alexandre Lacazette’s customary goal, his 9th in his last 5 games. He retains his position as second only to Cristiano Ronaldo in goals scored this season, yes even ahead of one Lionel Messi. Little wonder that Lyon’s president has publicly declared him already a much better player than ‘the Welshman at Real Madrid’.

Not that Messi cares for competition though; he certainly played as though the Deportivo defenders didn’t exist, bagging his 33rd career hat-trick in Barcelona’s joyous 4-0 romp in La Coruna with an exhibition of goals as good as any we’ve seen him produce. Earlier in the day, Ronaldo had helped himself to two goals as the men from the capital refused a plucky Getafe resistance, but it took a sumptuous bit of skill from Benzema to bust that can open.

In Madrid there was also the little matter of Torres getting his first league start but failing to follow up on his mid-week heroics, so I guess that’s business as usual for the Fernando Torres we’ve come to know over the past years. He’ll have to get his act together quickly if he wants to remain in Atletico Madrid‘s future plans, plans that will see them become a de facto big dog of world football: the club have yesterday announced the sale of a 20% stake in their club to Wang Jianlin, the second wealthiest man in the world’s second largest country.

Business as usual also for Lazio, who have their taste of life without Felipe Anderson with an uninspiring loss to Napoli. Felipe Anderson, of course, was out with a mix of a knee injury, some literal Daddy issues, and a serious case of the Chubby Alonso Jinx. It remains that there is only one genuine top don in Italy: Juventus casually showing how it’s done by spooning four goals past Hellas Verona, making it 10 goals in three days against the hapless side. Paul Pogba, who’d showed off his basketball skills before scoring on Thursday night, with the pick of the lot.

Qatar News (and it’s got little to do with FIFA…I think)

Meanwhile in Qatar, Pep’s efforts to get his team chomping at the bit has worked a little too well, rubbing off on a crocodile that was having a mid-day swim when the hand of Arjen Robben slipped into between its teeth….

…not that Pep would worry too much about Robben – it’s Badstuber he loves the most, and everyone knows that now:

The Friday Burrito: Goals, Balls and Golden Balls

The Friday Burrito

If you enjoyed Chubby Alonso’s Friday Burrito mix last week, you might appreciate this week’s too. This week’s wrap may be a little less spicy, but it more than makes up for it with an unhealthy amount of stardust.

Here’s Chubby Alonso’s recipe for the week:

1. FA Cup Replays

Calls for the abolition of the FA Cup replay may mean that this rather archaic practice will soon be no more, but until then let us indulge in them. The six mid-week cup replays have served up a host of goals: 25 goals (8 more than last weekend’s premier league fixtures) and 29 penalty kicks. Wolves and Fulham may have put up a 3-3 thriller on a snowcapped evening that made for some beautiful photo-memories, but the game on the night was undoubtedly at Upton Park. A match that had everything – an early red card (for Aiden McGeady), a fight back, even a Carlton Cole goal – ended with a goalkeeper scoring the winning penalty. The Premier League moneybags may scoff at replays, but nights like these show what a joy they can be for the fans – and surely that’s all that matters?

2. A Meaty Bony

The Wilfried Bony deal was quick, painless and good for all parties. No duplicity, no fuss; Garry Monk may have been openly resigned to losing one of his best players but showed the strength to resist a lower fee, and the optimism to push forward regardless. This means that Bony is now the most expensive African player, and has suddenly found himself in a club where he stands a realistic chance of ending the season with his first trophy in a big European league. For City they’ve got themselves a hefty (literally) Plan B in the Premier League’s top scorer in 2014 (20 goals) to go along with Aguero and Toure – second and third top scorers respectively – but also a bunch of other problems. Question marks remain over where he’ll fit in when Aguero is healthy, especially when both Bony and City have recently thrived in a lone striker system. The same question marks loom even more precariously over some players in the squad who have found themselves increasingly pushed to the fringes. Due to UEFA restrictions, Pellegrini will have to drop a foreign player from his European squad, making the next few weeks a pretty uneasy one for Jovetic, Dzeko or perhaps even both.

3. Mr. World

In football’s very own version of the famous popularity contest, Cristiano Ronaldo is Mr. World 2014. Cristiano himself, of course, affectionately thinks of himself as the world, and few had any doubts he was going to win the Ballon d’Or. Real Madrid won La Decima, Messi endured a trophyless season, Ronaldo scored lots and lots of goals. Of course he’s worked hard for that, and few will ever begrudge every honour given to the man. I, for one, think that Ronaldo is the better player. Messi may be the more aesthetically pleasing footballer, but Ronaldo is a manager’s dream – no matter how poorly set up the team is, no matter the formation or the supporting cast, he’s got the capacity and the grit to do what you’d want him to do for you, and more. In celebration, Nike gifted him a pair of diamond-encrusted ‘Mercurial CR7 Rare Gold’ boots, because there’s no better time to be a sponsor of the world’s most popular footballer.

4. Empty Hands

Perhaps the more deserved (and less mundane) story of Monday night’s event is that of those who didn’t win. Stephanie Roche will have enjoyed a special night out but she must still feel disappointed to return to her£650-a-month job at newly-promoted ASPTT Albi without the Puskas award. The trophy will instead find its place as one of surely many more on the mantlepiece of Real Madrid’s James Rodriguez, whose goal was fantastic, but hardly better. This was a terrific chance to divorce celebrity from the choice but it was star-power that won the day again, just as Zlatan’s did last time round.

Star-power was also the rule in FIFPro’s World XI, which featured two members of Brazil’s disappointing World Cup campaign and a key member of a Barcelona and Spanish team, two sides that in 2014 defined the word ‘defeated’. The inclusion of David Luiz, participant in that 7-1 defeat was particularly surprising, given that he only occasionally featured for Chelsea that season, and has had a rather vanilla start with a PSG side currently 4th in a weak Ligue Un. Diego Godin, on the other hand, may have scored in the Champions League final, scored the goal that took Uruguay out of the group stages in the World Cup, and won La Liga with Atletico Madrid, but he couldn’t even make the ‘Reserve XI’. I don’t think anyone will be taking these lists too seriously

5. Return of The Kid

Real Madrid may have the best squad in the world but the treble is officially beyond them this season. Before kick off they flaunted Cristiano Ronaldo (in abovementioned diamond boots), James Rodriguez, Toni Kroos and Sergio Ramos with their shiny new trophies from Monday night, but it was a Fernando Torres, once breaker of Barca hearts, who would send not one, but two pins flying towards Real’s brimming bubble. These were El Nino’s first goals in a Madrid derby, having failed to score in 10 attempts during his first spell, and they had come quick and fast: 49 seconds within the start of the first half and then 35 seconds within the second. Indeed, but for his goals Real may have cruised to an unlikely comeback victory over a stubborn Simeone side that sat far too deep for their own good. Real Madrid was hardly at their worst, but Sergio Ramos was certainly at his calamitous best; he may have scored, but goals don’t make games. Torres will do well to bear that in mind – he has come away as the day’s official hero but apart from his two smart finishes he had little else to show for his efforts and was later taken off for Arda Turan, who looked much more clever and assured with the ball. The prodigal son may be home, but there’s a long road yet to redemption.

And because I’ve been good this week, a bonus dessert:
6. A Bag of Crisps

David Moyes was sent to the stands as Real Sociedad went out of the Copa Del Rey but he preserved his dignity with some expert technique to scale the barriers, and then by enjoying a crisp and a laugh with the fans in the stands. Oh and the nuts he turned down? A bag of Mister Crisps, which sources say can get pretty nasty….making David Moyes a man with some pretty fine taste.

I Spy: The Next Ronaldo (And He’s Looking A Bit Brazilian)

I Spy

On the morning of the 13th January, Sebastião Tomé Gomes sent his white Fiat crashing through the streets of Santa Maria in Brazil, killing his ‘love rival’ on a runaway motorcycle, as well as a woman who was sound asleep when the two vehicles came crashing through her walls. The headlines were soon quick to point out that this man was none other than the father of a certain Felipe Anderson, a footballer, no less – the new darling of Lazio.

It was slightly fortuitous timing then that it was merely hours before that a more famous footballer had walked up some steps, nabbed a golden ball, and walked off with it. Cristiano Ronaldo would have been glad to take the spotlight away from Felipe Anderson: the Ballon d’Or winner must have his day; Anderson must be relieved to have this little bit of respite, at least.

Yet the forcefulness with which these headlines had hit the media – more so than the death itself of another young talent Junior Malanda – has shown how Anderson’s celebrity stock is on the rise. This is a man who had started 2015 better than anyone else: on his first game of the new year he put in an astonishing performance against Sampdoria, literally plating up goals for Marco Parolo and Filip Djordjevic while himself scoring from the finest and firmest of strikes (see from 0:44 of the video). Still, the highlight of the match came after that when Sampdoria’s manager Sinisa Mihajlovic proclaimed that he “looked like Cristiano Ronaldo”, magic words that would send every decent journalist flurrying after their pen. This was high praise of course coming from Mihajlovic, himself a Lazio legend and a key cog in The Eagles’ last great title winning side 15 years ago.

The Next Ronaldo

What struck me about Mihajlovic’s words were not merely the truth in the statement, but also the rarity of it, especially at the highest level. Titles such as the ‘Next Pele‘ or the ‘Next Maradona’ or the ‘Next Messi’ are bandied about rather flagrantly, but the ‘Next Ronaldo’ appears to be something else altogether. Because Ronaldo is not so much that elegant, graceful dribbler who attacks with a real finesse – the sort you’ll see bullying poor kids in a hopeful demo-tape. Nor is he that cheeky, extravagant – almost obnoxious – player that for a short while gave Nani the mantle of being Ronaldo’s replacement at Old Trafford.

Because Ronaldo is football’s alpha male, the sort that exists only at the highest professional level: a complete player who is both fast and powerful, technically perfect, direct and confident. For a while Gareth Bale came close, but now that the two are put side-by-side, few have since dared openly suggested this parallel. It remains that Ronaldo himself is a freak mismatch of gift and guile, dedication and desire, and that the ‘Next Ronaldo’ is better found not in a particular type of player, but in a phenomenon – yes the very word used to describe the original Brazilian prototype.

Enter Felipe Anderson, football’s latest sensation. It may be pre-mature to be making a call at this juncture, but where is the fun in dealing with a known entity? Anderson is my firm candidate to follow in the Ballon d’Or winner’s footsteps as a phenom ready to take the football world by storm.

It may be early days yet, but the now infamous stat line of 5 goals and 5 assists in his past 5 games may seem too good to continue until you actually watch this kid. Among his best attributes are his speed (rated as the fastest in Serie A), skill and ball control – just imagine the velocity of Bale that springs him past defenders, coupled with Hazard’s turn of pace that can send him on mazy measured runs that are near impossible to halt. Add in a touch of Iniesta’s inventiveness and we might be dealing with something really special here:

More than anything I appreciate the little things: his youthful approach to attack – more direct, less patient, yet also his maturity to constantly look out for his teammates’ runs, even while on the fly. Indeed he appears poised, composed, and fairly grown up for a 21 year old. Then again he has had his fair share of growing: this is Anderson’s second season in Serie A – meaning he’s already been through worst bit – and if he can avoid the sophomore slump, he’s just got clear skies ahead.

But there is also a lot of growing in him left: this season is also his first under Stefano Pioli, who appears to have created a system that gives Felipe Anderson real freedom going forward, perhaps the same sort of mandate Ferguson gave to Ronaldo when he set him loose against Bolton that autumn day in 2003. The 35 year old captain Stefano Mauri also appears to have taken the kid under his wise wings, maybe in the same way that Ryan Giggs might have done to CR7. Lazio might not be able to hold on to him for long, but it does seems like he’s found himself a good place to call home for now.

Or the Next Neymar?

Along with Cristiano Ronaldo, Felipe Anderson recognises Neymar as a player who inspires him (of all things for his “spectacular movement without the ball”). These are strange yet humbling words coming from someone merely a year Neymar’s junior, someone who while at Santos must have at some point fancied himself to be no less than Neymar. Still, Felipe Anderson looks up and recognises how far he has come, yet also how far he has left to go. The boy who was from his kindergarten class invited by businessman Rafael Felix to train with Coritiba covets playing for Barcelona one day, perhaps lining up alongside Neymar once again.

The last time that happened, Santos were Copa Libertadores champions, their first since 1963 when a certain Pele led them to cup glory. Now that Neymar has achieved what many other ‘Next Pele’s before couldn’t for Santos, could Felipe Anderson perhaps achieve what no other ‘Next Ronaldos can? One will hope that the kid has the hunger to do so, just as Cristiano himself did, and still does to this day.